I have been thinking about this all morning and it hit me:
If i try to make myself happy, my friends suffer. I felt awful, miserable, when i thought I was going to wake up ok this morning. the truth really hurts.
Literally. Right now I feel like a knife was shoved into my chest angled 45 degrees clockwise.
I have a regular question. Why?
Why should I even continue? From what everyone has said...even Josh, I'm doomed to fail. So why am I trying?
Really wish I could cry right now..
What is worse, I made friends angry.
Id like to spend one day without making someone angry or pissed off.
-Alyssa.
...Theress nothing left here....
4 comments:
If they are truly your friends they will be happy that you are happy. If they are angry that you are happy, then that makes them selfish.
You know I don't do this blog thing, but this needs to be posted for the whole world to see:
I don't know why you think you're so horrible, or why you think you're making all your friends angry and upset. You're a wonderful, caring person, and I can't think of a single time when you've made me angry, and if anything you've said has upset me, that's on me, not you.
Your blog is full of concern for others, of not wanting to upset anyone; I just want you to take care of Yourself for once. While you're worrying about everyone else, Who is taking care of Alyssa Fluty?
You deserve better.
When did I say you were doomed to fail? O_o
oh um...
crap.
i know who anon is..it doesnt work that way. ray, im surprised you did the blog thing despite your dislike for them. i remember the last conversation we had on my concern for everyone. I really can't help it. I was like programmed like that since I was a little kid.
Josh, heh.... I wroded that wrong.The way things are playing out it feels like its doomed to fail. Then again im use to things never working. Especially Dell support (snark. The impression I have goten from things I should not take so seriously and litterally, that dinbat me lets tourture my brain, was that its a futile idea.
Ill explain it better later ok?
-Alyssa
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