So, I'm delaying the blog on dancing anime fans for a little bit so I can give an update on whats going on with me. Thursday, I went to Rays to water her plants, and started talking with Josh. We smoked a little, which is kinda rare for me these days because of my "once bitten, twice shy" approach.
Last time I smoked, I got very sick and crashed on the couch for a bit.
But it was fine this time. Not too much, but just enough to focus on the words and feel he passion in his voice. Josh is very compelling when he talks. Unfortunately, I was so focused on what he was saying... I forgot to grab my bus home >.<;
I did go to grab it, but it was too late. Mind you he kept asking if i should go and I couldn't quite kick myself into gear. I'm one of those people who needs a little push...oops. So i called my house. Lil sis wasn't happy. My mom called me...She wasn't happy. So I dozed in and out on the chair watching the news.
Odd thing was, Josh had spoken before how his synchronizing ability was showing more and more, something I saw first hand when he got up and noticed it was 11:11 after we ate. I opened my eyes feebly and looked at the time on the T.v, 2:22.
I thought nothing of it until i woke up again at 4:44.
ifelt josh move around me and shut the window and turn stuff off. I felt like I was falling and next thing I know Josh is asking me why I didn't lay on the couch. I opened my eyes and im on the floor with a pillow and blanket.
So I got home and started work on cleaning up my neighbors apt.
When you only sleep for about 6 hours, intense house work is exhausting.
vacuumed, shampooing, washing, wiping, scrubbing, mopping. It was awful, but I felt good at how much I did. So I went home and napped. I wake up, and I get a call from my neighbor. She wants to talk to me.
...damn.
So I go up there and she starts complaining 'how can you shampoo if you dont vacuum? The floor in the kitchen was sticky, I left the laundry room door open. and i didnt put the curtains back up the way she wanted.
I still got $10 though....might be enough to replace the VH1 tee i ruined while bleaching her drain that was clogged with oil and MOLD. poor tee...
So, I gratefully took the money and got money on my phone. I went Downtown to water the plants again on Saturday, and Josh said he would look at my Wii which, *pout* poor babe got hurt, really bad. He started taking it apart when he told me theres 3 different types of screws, one special made for Nintendo. So he went to Ebay and order the screwdriver... Wow, he doesn't hesitate on these things does he?
So he told me the button is Jammed, and if while hes at it, I can look into buying things to modify it. Omg it would rock if he can Mod it to play Dvds and Cds, sweeeet.
My stomach growled, and I realized I hadn't eaten. So we walked to Sushi King.
At first, it was just us. then a large party of people came in, speaking a foreign language. We tried to pinpoint the accent and language. It sounded either French or Russian to me. Josh guessed Czech. I listened hard. It was a thick accent, like Polish or Russian. Then i heard someone say 'coritsa' thats Russian for Chicken.(thank you Mr. McGurgan) and it was settled, Russian was the language.
So we talked about different things. I said how I can hardly stand the crap at home anymore, and he looked me right in the eye and asked me to move in. I must of blushed a little because I felt on he spot, but remembered $30 a week wont help anyone out.
We walked back talking about different things, trying not to interrupt each other, which I was trying to be mindful about because I know thats HUGE pet peeve for him.
While we were walking, the glob of wasabi i downed as a 'lets clear it all out' treat was wreaking havoc on my stomach, which felt good but painful at the same time.
So I sat down in the chair, and we started talking more, and Josh started talking about my Ex, because while we were walking, he asked if I had ever been tested, which im planning on doing, I just gotta get down there (for curiosity sake, but Ive never shown any symptoms for anything ive read about). Most people would think 'wow, thats brash'. I don't however, If you want to ask something, ask it. If you can't articulate yourself the way you want to, just say whats on your mind. It takes alot to offend me because Ive been asked almost everything my entire life.
So he asked me about Dani. I told him how I felt, and what i knew from that. We kissed at first, but It was a one way relationship: Her way. We only fooled around once, and our bodies themselves barely touched. I think it was more her trying to figure out if New Years was a mistake or not. Oh well, I have no remorse over it.
So he asked me about my ex boyfriends.
...uh, that would only be 1. Eric.
I never let Eric do anything really, because I wasn't that way.....(-cough cough- yet)
I knew when he would make moves on me, but if the kissing left me in pain, there is no way I could go for anything else. Eric was rough, so any Cowgirls out there, I got a guy for you lol.
It kinda angered me when I talked to him about it later. He never told me about a party he went to at Saint Rose when he was still in college and how he got drunk and woke up with no pants, then got tested. If he wasn't going to tell me about that, how the hell could I have trusted him with sex?
Josh kinda looked at me funny. I don't know if it was a devilish grin or pure surprise.
'Great.' I thought to myself, 'he is seeing now that im still basically a virgin that learned anything sexual from porn...shit, this is not going good'
However, I wasn't nervous. Josh is a good friend, and I trust him (if i didn't trust him, would I let him take apart my Wii?), so I decided to stay as open as I could be without making things awkward.
So now, I see josh is fidgeting slightly which meant he wants to say something, but is either unable to say it the way he wants, or is afraid of the reaction.
So he starts off that he likes, likes me. When I hear that, it usually makes me giggle, because like like is such a cute word. He also said how he was getting frustrated with Sara not being in good contact with him, which i sympathize with. I asked him how Iron Man went, because I had forgotten to ask before, and felt bad that the plan fell through. I remember the feeling all too well.
So he said there would be a problem, seeing as there is the obvious I dont sleep and rarely eat and I am constantly surrounded by stress.
He told me hes only comfortable talking in such away because I am a person who can take blunt comments without getting upset. What can I say? Dry humor is great.
He was still unsure on how to say it, so I told him to stop beating around the bush and spill, I wont get offended.
He expressed his concern on my weight.
My weight...wow, first person in a while to really come right out and have the guts to talk to me about it. I was impressed.
for the past few years and months myself I had been trying to lose weight because I was not a Prima Ballerina in High school.
We both expressed that for my health it would be wise for me to lose some. I must admit I stopped weighing myself because my self esteem was so low.
Most girls would find complete offense to what he was telling me. I would tell most girls that they are wrong.
You can't see your own problems if you are looking alone in the mirror. Those around you have a better chance of seeing whats wrong and what needs fixing.
So, I just got the kick start i needed to work further in my goal to be where I should be in the ridiculous BMI scale that I hate because it hasn't been updated since 1920. My doctor told me I'm obese... I tried my hardest not to knee him.
I had been doing steps to increase my blood flow. Walking extra blocks to the bus stop, eating less but eating more frequently and slowly to fill myself. Drinking more water to fill myself and clean my body out, and looking at online diet tips.
Alot of them were funny. Drink cyanide tea. Chop off an arm -thats 10 pounds right there!-
The amount I wanted to lose was considered absurd. However I realize somethings going into this. Running will have to be at a min and just sprinting. I never really learned proper breathing while running, and my legs cramp up and cause insane back cramps.
*grin* Tennis it is.
Doesn't matter if i just use the wall. It will tone my arms, plus i can do my suicide sprints on the court.
When I was younger, my older brother would wake me and Mary Kate at the break of dawn and have us working out. Running up and down a steep hill, sprinting, going out on bikes, and drinking awful ginseng drinks. If i can fix my old bike, or take the parts for a new one, I would be in business. However I also figure, If i walk to the Springs on Spring Ave, and carry jugs of water home and try to at least power walk, it would be really beneficial for both arm and leg wise. I know there are certain regions that need an overhaul. My upper arms (I've always thought they were too pudgy) my upper thighs (always reminded me of hams), and my gut (just out a little too much). I figure if i take control of those, my hips wont be an issue.
So I'm guesstimating that I'm about 5'4" now and, sadly, around 200 if not larger.
My weight has always been an issue for me, I'm kinda evened out, but I should not be a size 16. I'm going to get healthy and get back in shape even if i have to drill a straw into my thighs and suck out the fat, which, yes I realize, in that sentence does not sound logical.
Time for me to stop the processed Italian food and start the yummy fruit (yes fruit is yummy, i have a weakness for mango's.
I am going to make my life better no matter what I have to put myself though.
--Alyssa
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