Me so tired..

I just got out of a nice hot bath, and feel so weary that i could melt into bed. Theres alot on my mind. Thinking about dear friends, day dreaming about the 'what if''s ' in life.Im so relaxed that im afraid I might plop over in any moment. My heart still seems...empty.

-O_O!

I just freaked myself out...well maybe my head just played tricks on me or im really tired, but I started drifting into the euphoric relaxed feeling when I hear plain as day in my ear Josh calling my name, like in conversation. Maybe part of my brain was remembering how I would just sit there, stare at him and let him spill it all out. What he wanted, what felt good for him. I always listened, but I never really heard the words. Thats odd, yes. I would hear him and think about how to help him, but the moment that information was no longer nessessary, it was kinda locked into my memory for storage.

I miss talking to him. I stopped having time, and felt after awhile, I was intruding on his space. I read his blog to continue to try and listen,

I was flipping channles and saw Moulin Rouge. I can see why its a hard one to watch. Twice I changed the station because I couldnt take seeing Christian and Setine because I would more deeply understand different meanings for the show.

I love my friends..I always want to see if there is anything I can do to make ethem happy


Im slipping into Slumberland. Sorry if the grammar sucks. Ill fix it later

~a.f