The Little Girl Who Was Forgotten By Absolutely Everyone (Even The Postman).

The story Of emily, the girl who was forgotten. Not sure why I'm being drawn to gothic, emo lolita stuff. There are times, I don't like happiness. So overrated to laugh and smile. You quickly take it all for granted, because thats all you feel.

When I am angry or upset, I feel a wave of all other things. I can see better when under the foot of fate.How people really are, and who I really am. I let everyone push me around, even my family. No one knows who I am, how i truly feel, because none of them cares. When I call them on their wrong doings, expose them to the public, I am shunned away 'Go back to your room, Go to Florida.'

Case in point of Friday and my father hypocritical power over my younger siblings.

Matt and Kelly were fighting, and he was ready to punch her, and my mother stopped him. My father yells at my little sister and chastises her for... Oh yeah get this:

Her boyfriend sleeping in her room. They don't sleep in the bed together. He sleeps in the bed, shes on the floor. Across from where my parents sleep.

Now my little brother is a bit different. He sleeps in the basement with his girlfriend having sex LOUDLY everynight.

I point this out, and my father says turn up the radio. What...the.....fuck.

Everything is wrong, and it isnt until my little brother finally leaves on his own to the fact hes dropped out and has no intentions of an education that he will see how bad he treated all of us. How he made us give up on the world because of him. He breaks everything on purpose and looks for fights.

I fear he might end up dead, but I will only sigh and know he finally learned his lesson.


I have to worry about myself, the mess I have found my way into. Whether to try and contact and set my fears of shame aside, or sit and wonder if for once I will cease to be the cowardice bad guy.

If I should replace barriers I knocked down.

If I should stop this whole charade of a life, and give up on it, and see if I can repair it after I let them all do what they want for 7 months.

At this stage, I feel I am the problem. If I am gone and I return, I will finally see who I affected and who really cared.

The topping? As I am finishing this, the snot nosed shit insults me for bringing him the phone after he broke the sliding glass door. How can he be so messed up and wrong?

I refuse to be associated with him anymore. From this point on, he will only hurt me.


Toodles

~a.f

Sorry this couldn't be a "happier" post. Happiness doesn't exist anymore, such lies, anger,only spreads and people don't like it when it hits them in the face. At least have some grace.