So people have wondered why I write so many depressing entries? Because life is not very good right now. It's not just me, my little sister too. Right now, I am having issues even sitting or laying because I just got inot a big ass fight with my little brother of all people. Yup, little terror strikes again.
I caused it however, me and my pride. I won't let him push my little sister around anymore. he has dad around his finger, and the only one who seems to be the bad guy is mom because she tries to stop it. I screamed at him. Hes not a man, hes a little boy with a temper tantrum all the damn time. After dissolving my little sister to tears of frustration and agony in her bedroom, I decided that was enough. Its not about why it happened, it's the principle. The fact that he gets out of everything by screaming then sucking up to my dad who doesn't care as long as there is no fighting. Dad snuck out to the casino, which made little brother think he could run the show.
Mind you, he decided not to participate at all with the family today. We (meaning Kelly rose, my parents and I) dragged a 14 foot tree about half a mile in the woods to the car. We did really well too. Well he made another mess then cleaned it up, and got PRAISED for it, which drove my little sister up a wall because she does so much more, but apparently thats expected of her. Matthew bitches at her for so long (and I ignored it because I knew my anger was rising with him) then dissapears, leaving her distraught. I heard her and I talked to mom saying how it's not right.
Then came my boiling point. I decided that he needed to apologize. Never once has he ever had to man up....if you can call him that. I went downstairs, banged on the door and when it was opened, demanded he apologized to my crying sister.
Of course he cussed me out and called me a poin-dexter due to my glasses. I informed him that I would not move from that doorway until he went up and said he was sorry. He got angry and told me to get away from his house. Again (for the ump teenth time) I pointed out that he pays no bills, thus it is not his house but my fathers.
He screamed for me to leave and I told him I would not leave that spot until he apologized. He went to shut the door when I leaned on it, thus not permitting it to close. He shoved me to the ground against concrete stairs, and made a move for the door. I grabbed it, and got back up, still refusing to move. I would not take no. Even if I had to fight my own family, my little sister would get justice that she needs.
He went for me again when I hear the fimmilar noise of Kelly Rose, coming to back me like oh so many times I backed up Mary Kate. She yelled at him, finally letting it all out. Thing is, he cant cope with the same stuff we do, and he runs and fights instead of fighting for something right, he fights for something easy. I block him, letting my little brother know it is me v him, not my baby sister. He shoves me again, wherein I decided to be actually a bitch. This butt ugly blanket, which is used as a butt ugly curtain to hide their ugly butts while they fornicate, was right in front of me so I tugged and yanked it down and chuckled a mean chuckle in my head. I see him going for her and latch around his leg. He begins to swing forward, but I push him back towards his "cave".
Suddenly I feel the worse THUD! on my back and numbing pain echo out. 'ooh!' I thought 'That hurt! Just a bit!'
Kelly screamed and started going for him. I got up, knowing he would go for her. With all my limited might, I shoved him back, then turned my back to him and pushed him back into his disgrace of a home and slammed the door and told Kelly Rose to go.
I followed her and when he came back, I screamed at the top of my lungs what he is doing to my family. How he is ruining my life.
My mother asked her usual question 'what can I do?'
Sadly, due to the sudden adreniline, I screamed at her too.
"Mary Kate would NEVER put up with this! One bad apple ruins the bushel! hes a bad apple and look what he's doing to this family!"
Kelly right now is calming down. She seriously wants to just leave, and I don't blame her. She has been going through this for 3 years, and very gracefully. Family shouldnt tear eachother apart. I dont understand what the hell happened to him. In all honesty, the girls faired so much better than the boys in this family.
I was a bit surprised my glasses were not hurt in the altercation. I was ready for those to be the first thing to go.
Ive been smoke free for 2 weeks, Im getting a pack. Tomorrow I will shoot, grab dani and then who knows. Stroll on Sunday.
Toodles
~a.f
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