(-.-;) dios mio...

(screen shot form the KH3 preview)

Memorial Day. I woke up late, first time in a while. Katrina had taken my stuff out of the dryer and piled it so i can sort and fold. I'm gonna try and get my room cleaned because it has gotten really bad. Alot of winter clothes that need to be put away. I have alot of housework to do, but I really just wanna be outside.

Talked to Josh last night. He's... having a rough time. I don't blame him either. I feel awful that I can't really do anything to help him. It kills me when someone needs help, but im helpless to do anything.

I was thinking and thinking of ways to help Josh out of his slump, when I suddenly got really dizzy. I knew what it meant, I was thinking so much, the little trait of empathy ive had since I was 17 or so triggered.

It was pure agony. It was like all the happiness was slowly drained and replaced with pain, unbearable pain.
Josh suggested I drink some OJ and lay down. I wish that helped. Since I was 11, paranormal events seem to draw themselves to me. When my cousin died, he kept sending me images and I would get cold and clammy and it felt like I was falling into a white fog. Ususally it was ok, because I was with my mom or alone, but it happened once in school, and I collapsed on the floor.
I locked that away for almost 6 years, when it came back one night during rehersal for Grease. I looked at all these teddy bears for the song 'Freddy my love' and started crying because I had this tidal wave of different memories and feelings that each one carried with them.

I thought I was crazy, or just over emotional. I noticed though, if someone was really giddy, I started feeling giddy, but the next moment, if someone was depressed, I felt it as well.

Perhaps thats the reason I try to make everyone content. I've felt almost every emotion people have and understand that these emotions cannot overtake our lives. Yes, you can be overjoyed or angry or even upset, but the moment you make decisions that are based off of these, it becomes a problem. Im not sure where Im going with this, but pain isnt forever. Emotions come and go, I know this very well. Please find hope in your heart. It does still exist, and its waiting for the future that it knows will come. Its so hard for me to converse this properly because I suddenly look very greedy in a way. My laundry is done. Ill update later, hopefully this doesnt cause more harm than good.

~Alyssa